When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. – John 19:30

As we discussed last Friday, the key word is FINISHED.  Meaning there is nothing left to do to get God’s approval.  Yet, we so often live our lives waiting, even seeking the approval of others.  The problem with that, as we discovered is that when we live FOR the approval of other people, we surrender our freedom. However, when we turn toward our heavenly Father, and begin to live FROM his approval, you experience peace. And none of the people in your life can take away that peace because they didn’t give it to you in the first place.

Last week I completely hijacked the morning and pushed pause on the White Noise series.  Thanks to all that were there for allowing me to unpack publicly what I had been processing internally.  Thanks to anyone who makes it through this post where I do the same. 

Here is what we discussed:

In the 15 year history of Fuel (the meeting formally known as TFM) there has been one constant:  EVERY time a guy goes radio silent, checks out, isolates himself, he NEVER shows back up 6, 8, 12 months later with the report that his walk with Christ and relationship with his wife are firing on all cylinders.  NEVER.  NOT ONE TIME.  Instead EVERY time a guys goes radio silent , checks out, isolates himself he shows back up 6,8,12 months later saying “I am in a world of trouble.”  Every time.  NO exception. We spent the rest of the morning discussing why that is and how to avoid it.

First of all, we looked at WHY guys go into hiding.  The reason is simple:  We are all hiding something.  ALL of us.  It may have happened last year or last night.  It might be small, medium, or large.  It may be something we did in High School we don’t want our kids to know about.  We did something in college we don’t want our wives to know about.  We have visited a website we don’t want shared at our funeral.  We’ve connected with someone on LinkedIn we shouldn’t have connected with.  We are communication with someone on Facebook, we shouldn’t be communicating with.  I mentioned these things, not because I wanted to serve up a giant helping of guilt before the weekend, but instead because I was hoping to set guys free.

We are all being deceived, gentlemen. It’s true, and the great lie that we are told, time and time again is that WE are the only ones doing all of the things mentioned above (or worse).  The problem is that eventually we believe it.  Now when you get to the point (and we all do) that we think that EVERYONE else is acing the test and we are getting F’s, do you want to keep showing up?  No, of course not.  So we end up checking out and completely isolating ourselves.  That is what our enemy wants.

We then looked at what else our enemy wants.  1 Peter 5:8 tells us that “Our enemy, the Devil prowls around like a roaring lion waiting for someone to devour”.  Well, if we are told that our enemy is LIKE a lion we should understand what lions are LIKE.  The question we asked is this: Based on all the videos you have ever seen of a lion taking out some other animal, do they take out the one in the middle of the herd?  Of course not.  Where are the ones they take out?  The ones that are isolated and ALONE.

Recap: We are being deceived by our enemy into thinking we are alone.  We isolate ourselves so that we are actually alone, and our enemy is LIKE a lion that is looking for someone to devour and lions devour prey that are isolated or alone.

So what’s the solution? Hebrews 3:13 actually gives us the answer: “Encourage one another daily as long as it’s called today, so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin”.

Encouragement?  That’s it?  Well, as we discussed, that’s part of it as I don’t think encouragement captures the entire idea.  I say this because depending on the Bible translation you are reading, different words are used to capture the meaning of the Greek word that is used.  Other words used besides encouragement are: Exhort, Warn, or Inquire of.  So what would you call it when we encourage one another, warn one another, inquire of one another and exhort one another?  We settled on accountability but paused long enough to admit that not everyone is comfortable with that word.  We then looked at the two main reasons why people aren’t comfortable with that word.

The first was that accountability is most uncomfortable when we need it the most.  When I am firing on all cylinders, locked in with my boys, locked in with my family and walking close to Christ, I am a wide open book.  If I am banging my neighbors wife I might not be open to you checking in on me.

The second reason is that I think we have accountability all wrong.  We have set up accountability to be nothing more than shame dispensing.  We ask each other about our sins.  We talk about our sins.  We tell each other how much God hates sin and then we get together seven days later and we do it again.  No wonder we hate it.  But what if we looked at accountability in a different way?  What if instead of being accountable TO one another we realized that we are accountable FOR one another.  Anyone who has ever has a child knows what it is like to be accountable FOR someone.  When you are accountable FOR someone it changes the relationship.  We would encourage one another differently.  We would warn one another differently, we would inquire of one another differently, and we would exhort one another differently.  But most importantly, the second I realize that I am accountable FOR someone I am going to do all I can to make sure they don’t isolate themselves……………. and that could make all the difference.

Here is to bringing someone out on Friday.

D.R.

Due to our technical difficulty last week the below note from Pat Mancuso applies to our time together tomorrow.

Tomorrow we continue our series on helping the next generation.  This next generation is growing up in a world unlike that of  any previous before them.

For instance, this is the first that doesn’t need adults for information. But they do need adults for interpretation. What can we do to help the next generation to see the world in a way that sets them up for success?

It’s easy to complain about the next generation. It’s easy to label them spoiled or entitled. But the previous generations helped shape the way Millennials and Homelanders interact with the world around them.  So what’s our role?

We need to stop pointing fingers and commit to helping the next gen win.
Come join the conversation tomorrow—anyone that has kids, knows kids, works in a job with people less than 15 years younger than them…pretty much every dude on this list…should find this session compelling and very interesting.

Hope you can join us.